debsiobhan

07:06 pm: And I don't even like porridge!
I'm really feeling like a little spoiled brat.  My life is by most standards very good.  I try to recognize it.  I try to be suitably grateful.  Unfortunately I'm having a bad case of Goldilocks.  Sure, everything is good, but nothing is just right. I was pondering this very topic this morning and thinking that there wasn't one thing in my life that was getting "Meets Expectations" on the review.  Then I thought of one thing that was.  Of course that one thing managed to upend into a major ball of angst producing crap within 2 hours of the thought.  Sigh.

Tags: feelings

04:48 pm: Some days it's kind of spooky...

My horoscope today...
Beware of those you feel compelled to fix.  It's not your job to repair broken hearts or make over other people's bad habits.  When you focus on yourself, those who need work will be inspired to work on themselves, as well.

I have a friend who is going through some real issues.  I desperately want to make things ok for them but I know I can't.  I'm spending a good bit of time not saying the things I'm thinking.  All I can do is keep working on my own issues and take care of me because no one else will.

Tags: feelings

08:07 pm: Smiles
Much happier today.  Defining things a bit helps.  Deciding to get over myself helps.  Plus there's nothing like a little cleavage and the kickin' boots to make life more interesting.

Tags: feelings

07:17 pm: I wish I understood me.
 At 46 you'd think I'd understand me better.  Life is good.  Work is good.  The gym is good.  I'm well.  Family is well.  Things are going well.  I even have a bit of a social life going.  So why am I so close to the edge of sad?  Why do I have such a tough time with the little disappointments?  There are far worse things in the world than not getting what I want when I want it.  So why does that  very situation put me on the edge of tears.  I wish I understood.

Tags: feelings

06:58 pm: Ready, Set, Go
I'm ready.  Ok there's one more thing I should do but really it's practically optional.  The cookies have been done all week, I've been passing them out at work and to the neighbors.  The decorations have been up for 2 weeks, I even got the dining table back from the gamers.  Now the presents are also done and wrapped and waiting for Santa.  I'm ready. 

Tomorrow I have my brothers wedding party (he got married Friday).  I'll dress up as spiffy as I can manage and enjoy the company of my family.  I opted for the buy them a bottle of wine option on their invite (they are afficianados).  My bottle is an inexpensive Cabernet with a cool name.  The card says I selected it using the hightly scientific method - "ooh cool name", hope it doesn't suck.  My initial method was going to be to find a pretty romantic looking label - which is to say I don't really know crap about wine.

Christmas Eve I have to go to work, but I swear I'll probably be practically alone there.  I do not envision a full day of work.  I've got a nice rib roast in the fridge for dinner (mmmm prime rib).  Then the big day.  Leisurely Santa time, cinnamon rolls for breakfast, the in-laws will stop by after lunch then over to the SILs for cocktail time and dinner.  

I'm ready, let's get on with it.

Tags: feelings, life

08:44 am: Stupid People
I'm really pissed at my state's courts today. I think these people need to take a good hard look at themselves and the people they are denying equal rights to. I think they forgot that Maryland was founded as a Free State where religious differences were not a target of discrimination.
The article explaining is here: Maryland court strikes down same-sex marriage .

Tags: feelings

08:37 pm: The Quandry of a Good Girl


Tags: feelings